Without Having to Actually Give their Money Back...
DISCLAIMER: I am writing this not as a how to. I am writing this out of experience. I am sharing what I observed as a failed investor myself. This post is specially dedicated to the newbie aspiring young entrepreneurs and prospective OFWs who have made a living abroad and are thinking of investing their hard earned money here in our scam ridden country. I call these kind of scams - legal scams. You signed it. Here is what happens or what could happen if you do not consult the experts:
I. Section I - Software
Making a half-baked product.
a. Get at least 2 programmers. One is the software lead and the other is the assistant (The one who makes the coffee).
b. Get them to use premade software tools or engines so that development is faster - but don't finish it.
c. Make sure that there are plenty of bugs - so you can use them to delay later.
d. Make sure that there are plenty of shiny buttons in the web page to impress the investors
e. Ok now when the game looks impressive enough - stop.
II. Section 2 - Investors
When the program is half-ready attract some investors.
a. Word of mouth
b. Rich Friends/Relatives
c. Advertise in the newspaper and claim that it is like another famous game that's been an addictive hit with teenagers and kids - specially in the US. But give it a twist - say that it's different or special because ----
d. Tell prospective investors that the product is only half finished and that you need money so that they can finish it to make it like that famous game.
e. Tell investors about how much money it is making in the US and that they can earn the same - hell not even the same - just 1% - because 1% is enough.
f. Pretend that you are not putting pressure on the investors by saying, "It's ok if you do not invest, there are other interested parties."
g. Name drop. This nephew of bigshot head SVP (Super Vice President) MVP (Mega Vice President) [insert name of company - preferably a bank or a telco] is investing too, so we don't really need your investment but it's ok if you do invest.
At the same time have your wife pretend that she is concerned about the well being of the investor. Make them feel like they are in good hands...
h. Go in for the kill - make them sign a stupid Memorandum of Agreement that they will never escape from.
i. Laugh out Loud
III. Operation
When you've got the money - delay delay delay delay - then the Catch 22
a. Once the investment is made, start developing again, slowly...
b. Make sure that there are many glitches to buy time. Pretend that you are fixing it.
c. Hold promos to keep the investors happy that you are promoting the product
d. Pretend that you are stressed out that you don't even have time to take a bath because you are too busy, too busy.
e. Make yourself unavailable - Get a freaking secretary - you can afford it now
f. Make sure you promote moderately public - but not too public - the government might notice that you do not have business registration.
By now, the investors are already getting impatient with your delays. Know when dissent is starting - use that to your advantage.
IV. The Catch 22
a. If an investor is getting impatient privately - do this:
a.1 Use a proxy - or pretend that you are an investor too and befriend the investor via email.
a.2 Once you got that disgruntled investors trust - use that to your advantage.
a.3 When that investor can't take it anymore - use the proxy to insert some notions like "this looks like blackmail." or "this might make other investors nervous" That should keep him patient for a while.
b. If an investor will go public do this:
Repeat after me: intimidate, accuse, exacerbate. Again!!! intimidate, accuse, exacerbate.
Did you get that?
b.1 Go on the attack - accuse him of blackmail
b.2 Find dirty stuff about his life use it too.
b.3 Accuse him of sabotaging your operations.
b.4 Accuse him of being the reason for sagging sales.
b.5 Accuse him of insurrection, rebellion or demonic possession.
Lawsuits.
c. By now, some dissent would be stirring that's perfectly fine. Just be prepared.
c.1 If someone threatens you with a lawsuit - just be calm and look for the stupid Agreement that the investor signed. Read aloud.
c.2 If someone files a lawsuit - it's okay, they signed the stupid Agreement.
Now for the most interesting part - tada! The Catch 22---
Declare Bankruptcy
Inflate your records to show that you are no longer liquid - while of course having some of the investors money stashed away under your pillow or somewhere in the bahamas. Inflate expenses. Inflate costs. Inflate. Inflate Inflate. Appeal to the common public about your plight. Pretend to cry ala Jun Lozada - and wail "I did my best. I'm sorry. I don't have money anymore." Use God's name. Become religious. Go to church every Sunday wearing simple clothes. Lie low for a while until public furor has died down. Be sure to hide that money somewhere.
While this is all happening, make sure that your other project is humming secretly now in another place. Give it 1 or 2 years. Use the REAL MONEY that you stashed away to complete it. When it is half baked - Get more investors again.
Get Another Name.
Start the Cycle Again.
one thing you can say about them. hehe. they're very creative.
ReplyDelete"Evil genius"
ReplyDeleteSad to say, yes they are.
Sad to say, marami silang ganyan sa Pilipinas at sa mundo.
Sad to say, that if these people used their talent for something better, then our world would be a little bit better.
But they have not. They have fallen to the dark side.
It's very easy to fall to the dark side.
What scares me about life here today is that to survive you must be of the dark side.
A little dishonesty here, a little lie there. A little deception here. A little deception there.
It's so easy actually. You just go with the flow.
Proof 1: What happens if an imperfect person like Jun Lozada tells the truth? You get attacked on all fronts. To protect your family you must find refuge in the custody of nuns?
Proof 2: What happens if an imperfect politician and person who has good intentions like Among Ed runs for public office?
He gets castigated by his own peers - masakit pa dahil Jueteng Crusader at fellow man of the cloth si Oscar Cruz di ba?
He gets abandoned by his very own allies who campaigned for him. Masakit isipin pero why are all these things happening?
My father wrote this: http://filipinoalipin.blogspot.com
He sees that in the end, there is no real and sublime justice in our imperfect world.
Haba ng comment ko parang post na. Hehe, I am a little bit sad because all of these are happening. But at least hindi pa parang Iran sa atin na you can't speak your mind.
I think that's one thing to cherish in this little archipelagic nation of ours. There are not that many Basijis yet.
wow. nag blo blog din pala tatay mo dati.
ReplyDeleteouch. naalala ko tuloy nanay ko. huhu.
It's not my dad that blog, I merely re-published his book on a blog. :)
ReplyDelete